In Which I Go Out Twice, And Fail To Meet My Goal

Well, that sucked.

Yesterday, we were set to do 35 miles. Since we had a doctor's appointment in the early afternoon, we got up at 6AM to head for Oak Openings.

I had been out the entire day on Wednesday, and thus did not take my medication on time. Normally, this isn't a big deal, but if I have to be up at OMG O'Clock and I've taken my meds late, I'm a very special kind of Stupid. And sometimes my body rebels. Mistake Number 1!

While I was out Wednesday, I bought a new seat cover for my bike. The gel seat had been damaged and half the gel had oozed out, so I replaced it with a "memory foam" dealie that was supposed to be more comfy and offer better protection from saddle soreness. Mistake Number 2, though that didn't become apparent until it was too late.

Mistake Number 3 was thinking after the first mile of feeling Really Wrong that it would pass and I'd be able to get into my groove. It not only did not pass, it got worse, and it took all my concentration to stay upright and make it to our first checkpoint at the Springbrook area. It took 56:10 to go 8.79 miles, way slower than my average pace has been lately. Now, mind, I'm generally not hung up on pace - if I need to slow down so I can get where I'm going without doing myself in, I'm going to slow down, and timing be damned. But this was different. I was dizzy, had tunnel vision, and was incredibly saddlesore. The hell? I had gotten that completely under control, the new seat was supposed to be even better than the old one?

The tunnel vision was so bad that apparently I had a deer come practically right up to me, and I didn't even notice her. Damn.

Getting off my bike at Springbrook was excruciating, and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to stand up. I did manage to limp off for a pee, which was similarly excruciating. Fuck. I am bruised and battered from lack of cushioning, and THAT is simply NOT a place you want to be bruised and battered. I took my bottle of Amino Vital over to a bench and very gingerly perched upon it to get a drink and try to get my head to stop buzzing. Two swallows in, and I wanted to vomit. That would have been really bad, I really needed to keep that down.

The Vita Guru thought if I took a little time to breathe and finish my drink, I'd probably be OK, but the longer I sat, the sicker I felt, so he hopped back on his bike to ride back and fetch the car. I swear, that was the longest 45 minutes of my life. I struggled to keep my AV down, and remained pretty still on the bench. A very nice lady with a very kissy Jack Russell named Ginger stopped to ask me if I was OK, she said I looked very pale. I assured her that pale is my default state and I just needed to sit for a bit, but she sat with me for a while until she was satisfied that I was not going to keel over. (Thank you, Evelyn, and thank you, Ginger, for checking up on a total stranger. It was very kind of you.)

VG showed up with the car, loaded up my bike and tucked me into the front seat. We agreed that we should go back out later to try again. When I got home, I tended to my injuries as best I could, and CRASHED for nearly 3 hours.

We had an appointment with the eye doctor, then we headed back out. The first order of business was to return the seat cover to Dick's, and replace it with one that actually performed as promised. While we were there, we thought I should pick up some padded cycling shorts to help protect my poor bruised bits. Hey, padded shorts were on sale, cool! I usually ride in a pair of New Balance running tights, they do a pretty good job of preventing chafing, unless I'm stupid and wear all cotton undies. They're an XL, so I started with that.

OK, seriously, are you KIDDING me? XL was NOT in any way an XL. Laughable. XXL? Was probably closer to a size 6 or maybe an 8. VG suggested I try the men's sizes. No. The mens were bigger than the womens, by a good margin, but still not in the realm of XXL. We had to leave, or I was going to start screaming. Apparel manufacturers piss me right the hell off. Yes, it's lovely that the women who are athletic and trim want to look cute in their bike shorts, but fat chicks ride, too! (Have you guys never listened to Queen? Listen to the wisdom of Freddie!)

We went back out, and tried again. The new seat was a HUGE improvement, but it was pretty clear that the existing bruising was going to be a problem. I did a lot of standing up, but it eventually got to the point that I was in tears and had to stop at 15.88 miles. On the bright side, I DID finally get to see another deer - she bounced out onto the trail about 4 miles before I had to stop. She even held still for a minute!

So, my total for the day was 24.67 miles. Disappointing, to be sure, but I do actually like myself well enough to know when to pay more attention to my injuries than my ego. My ego can shut the hell up for a couple days, while I tend to my Very Upset Bits, and that's that.

I am treating myself nicely until Sunday - ice, ibuprofen, and sangria! I stayed off the bike today and will likely do so tomorrow as well to make sure that I've healed up sufficiently.

On Sunday, we're going out to do 50 miles. Sunday will be our last long training ride before the Bike to the Bay next Saturday and Sunday! EEEEEEEE! I am confident that Sunday will be fine, and I am very excited about the ride.

I can totally do this thing!


--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl