So, The VitaGuru has been using this cool toy on his Android phone called SportyPal Pro to track his running routes. It will track your route via GPS, and based on your time and distance, will calculate how many calories you've burned, and will even calculate your elevation. And if you're brave - or foolish, or both - you can take all this info and Tweet it, Facebook it...and apparently embed it in your blog:
How cool is that, I ask you? Isn't living in the future just the awesomest thing? And you can click on the buttons up there and see all kinds of cool stuff. If you click the 3D button, frex, you can get a tour of my route, via Google's Street View. The question mark button will explain what the different line colors mean, and also what the rest of the buttons mean. Nifty, no?
So, you can see the route I rode today, which is a slight departure from my usual route, as the VitaGuru rode with me, and we got to yapping, and I got all distracted by what we were yapping about and forgot to turn down East Benalex on the trip back home. And, we only did one lap around today, because my hands were all cramped up and I couldn't tolerate another lap with Arthritis Claw(TM) making life miserable. Pity, that, because I'm finally starting to get my saddle! In fact, all I had to say about my ass was "My bits are burning!". 'Cause, well, THEY WERE!
What? No, I am NOT going to pretend that I haven't got delicate bits getting all smashed up. I did say I was gonna let it all hang out. Well, figuratively, anyway. The point is, they were burning, I was bitching, and Elder Monster's girlfriend thought it was the funniest thing ever. And in the in-between, well, my sit-bones are a little achy, but that's it. I don't feel like I want to die, so I'm assuming progress is being made!
Anyway, according to this lovely bit of tracking, today's ride was 5 miles, completed in 44 minutes and 13 seconds, at an average speed 6.8mph (I'm still a bit of a slowpoke). And I burned off 346 calories! I typically go twice around the neighborhood, and I typically don't skip East Benalex, so my usual ride around the neighborhood is a solid 10 miles.
Starting next week, I want to see if I can make it three times around the neighborhood. When I can do that consistently without falling off my bike and dying, The VitaGuru says we'll go out to Oak Openings to ride the 18 mile trail. And when I can do that one consistently, we'll probably be starting road work.
Admittedly, I've been taking it a little easier this week, what with having to deal with breathing through a rather tender and sore nose. Until around Thursday, any jump in blood pressure, however slight, made itself known by making my poor, fractured nose throb. As of today, though, the pain has settled to a dull, intermittent ache, and it's not so distracting.
Elder Monster has promised to be my biking buddy after he gets home from work tomorrow, not that he really needed an arm twisting, since he bought a shiny new bike to show off. It's nice having someone to ride with from time to time, and I'm looking forward to some road time with my Monster!
Who's up for a ride around the 'hood tomorrow?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
It's The Blogging That's Killing Me
My darling readers!
I hope this finds you all happy and well, and relaxed after some Easter time? Mind, I don't celebrate Easter - what with being a Heathen and all, Ôstara was back at the Equinox - but I do appreciate that my Christian friends have managed things such that my family gets a weekend together, away from work. Thanks, y'all!
My family and I - and Elder Monster's adorable girlfriend, who at this point has been family for years! - spent Easter weekend in Chicago. So, for three days, I did not ride my bike! I did, however, walk and walk and walk and walk, so I don't feel too bad about this turn of events. My legs need just as much stamina as my ass, after all, since they all need to work in concert to keep me upright and pedaling! Anyway, it was good to have some family time, to spend some time soaking up culture and history and good food and some pretty nice weather.
I snagged an injury on Sunday evening - upon my return home, my puppy promptly broke my nose whilst greeting me. He didn't smash it to bits, thankfully, "just" cracked it, but it puffed up and it hurts, and it probably will for a couple more weeks.
I have ridden every day but Monday and Thursday this week - Monday being a recovery day from travel and some much needed quiet time after getting hit in the face by Dogzilla, and Thursday because I just felt like taking the day off.
So, it's not the riding that's taking a toll. It's figuring out how to WRITE about it! Seriously, it's not terribly interesting for folks to hear "I rode my bike today, whoo!" Is it? Beats the hell out of me. I suppose I need to ride in places other than just in my neighborhood, and I probably need to start taking some pictures of interesting things. I certainly don't want to bore y'all!
Maybe I'll have some interesting things to say after going to the gym to lift tomorrow?
OK, it might all be swear words, but those can be interesting, right?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
I hope this finds you all happy and well, and relaxed after some Easter time? Mind, I don't celebrate Easter - what with being a Heathen and all, Ôstara was back at the Equinox - but I do appreciate that my Christian friends have managed things such that my family gets a weekend together, away from work. Thanks, y'all!
My family and I - and Elder Monster's adorable girlfriend, who at this point has been family for years! - spent Easter weekend in Chicago. So, for three days, I did not ride my bike! I did, however, walk and walk and walk and walk, so I don't feel too bad about this turn of events. My legs need just as much stamina as my ass, after all, since they all need to work in concert to keep me upright and pedaling! Anyway, it was good to have some family time, to spend some time soaking up culture and history and good food and some pretty nice weather.
I snagged an injury on Sunday evening - upon my return home, my puppy promptly broke my nose whilst greeting me. He didn't smash it to bits, thankfully, "just" cracked it, but it puffed up and it hurts, and it probably will for a couple more weeks.
I have ridden every day but Monday and Thursday this week - Monday being a recovery day from travel and some much needed quiet time after getting hit in the face by Dogzilla, and Thursday because I just felt like taking the day off.
So, it's not the riding that's taking a toll. It's figuring out how to WRITE about it! Seriously, it's not terribly interesting for folks to hear "I rode my bike today, whoo!" Is it? Beats the hell out of me. I suppose I need to ride in places other than just in my neighborhood, and I probably need to start taking some pictures of interesting things. I certainly don't want to bore y'all!
Maybe I'll have some interesting things to say after going to the gym to lift tomorrow?
OK, it might all be swear words, but those can be interesting, right?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
In Which Our Heroine Learns About Wind
It was a GORGEOUS day in Toledo today, my darlings! Beautiful, sunny, warm, breezy.
OK, not so much with the breezy. IT WAS WINDY AS HELL!
The Vita Guru took off for work this morning, I grew weary of swearing at my own pile of work, so I hopped into the saddle and went twice around the neighborhood. And it took For. Ever. I am not even kidding. It was really difficult to stay upright, I felt like I was going to be flung halfway across the state - if not to Oz itself! - at any moment! But it was a great ride, even if it was really difficult and my legs burn and MY BUTT HURTS!
(I did a bunch of hip lifts after the ride to soothe the aching tuckus, and it seems to have helped quite a bit, but the "sit bones" are still burning and complaining at me. It's hard to convince the junk in your trunk to stay situated such that it doesn't hurt so much!)
My playlist is steadily coming along, as I add songs, remove songs, and rutsch the whole thing around. A couple weeks ago, my bestie introduced me to this song:
Isn't Florence just amazing? Not only is she beautiful and supernaturally graceful, she's got her some PIPES! There's something about this song that gets my heart beating and my legs pumping, and though it's probably going to catch some bugs, I can't help but sing along as I pedal down the road. I've seen Florence live, and have a bunch of her stuff in the Ride playlist, but this one in particular has really been speaking to me lately.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, The Beastie Boys have also been in heavy rotation. What? I'm a child of the 80s, and I reserve the right to rock out to the soundtrack of my mis-spent youth as it pleases me! (Also, MCA is looking mighty fine these days. Not as fine as Lenny Kravitz, mind, but does ANYONE look as fine as Lenny Kravitz, I ask you?)
In spite of the pain of getting this bounteous booty into shape, I find that the music helps me power through it. It helps me focus, helps my pedaling switch to auto-pilot so I can concentrate on important things, like not getting blown out of the saddle!
Even better, when I got home, I found my order from Foam On The Range waiting for me, so I had my pick of lovely things for my post ride shower. Mmmm, Juniper and Sage SunSoap!
We had a very healthy supper tonight - chicken stir fry with broccoli, carrots, peppers, a slivered up Meyer lemon, and black rice. I felt positively ravenous, but I was very modest in my portion, as the Vita Guru and I need to go for a blood draw tomorrow, and need to fast for 12 hours. I don't want anything messing with my results, because I hate having follow-up visits with the vampires.
So, I'm well exercised, well-washed, and well fed, and I'm so very tired. Tomorrow, a longer ride, and hopefully my butt will stop complaining so much. And with luck, I'll get better about writing about my adventures!
Tomorrow, I'm going to be bad. The Vita Guru and I are heading up to Evans Street Station to meet up with friends for the Oberon release party. I promise I'll ride first!! Oberon is what tells me that Spring is really here.
What's your favorite Springtime vice?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
OK, not so much with the breezy. IT WAS WINDY AS HELL!
The Vita Guru took off for work this morning, I grew weary of swearing at my own pile of work, so I hopped into the saddle and went twice around the neighborhood. And it took For. Ever. I am not even kidding. It was really difficult to stay upright, I felt like I was going to be flung halfway across the state - if not to Oz itself! - at any moment! But it was a great ride, even if it was really difficult and my legs burn and MY BUTT HURTS!
(I did a bunch of hip lifts after the ride to soothe the aching tuckus, and it seems to have helped quite a bit, but the "sit bones" are still burning and complaining at me. It's hard to convince the junk in your trunk to stay situated such that it doesn't hurt so much!)
My playlist is steadily coming along, as I add songs, remove songs, and rutsch the whole thing around. A couple weeks ago, my bestie introduced me to this song:
Isn't Florence just amazing? Not only is she beautiful and supernaturally graceful, she's got her some PIPES! There's something about this song that gets my heart beating and my legs pumping, and though it's probably going to catch some bugs, I can't help but sing along as I pedal down the road. I've seen Florence live, and have a bunch of her stuff in the Ride playlist, but this one in particular has really been speaking to me lately.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, The Beastie Boys have also been in heavy rotation. What? I'm a child of the 80s, and I reserve the right to rock out to the soundtrack of my mis-spent youth as it pleases me! (Also, MCA is looking mighty fine these days. Not as fine as Lenny Kravitz, mind, but does ANYONE look as fine as Lenny Kravitz, I ask you?)
In spite of the pain of getting this bounteous booty into shape, I find that the music helps me power through it. It helps me focus, helps my pedaling switch to auto-pilot so I can concentrate on important things, like not getting blown out of the saddle!
Even better, when I got home, I found my order from Foam On The Range waiting for me, so I had my pick of lovely things for my post ride shower. Mmmm, Juniper and Sage SunSoap!
We had a very healthy supper tonight - chicken stir fry with broccoli, carrots, peppers, a slivered up Meyer lemon, and black rice. I felt positively ravenous, but I was very modest in my portion, as the Vita Guru and I need to go for a blood draw tomorrow, and need to fast for 12 hours. I don't want anything messing with my results, because I hate having follow-up visits with the vampires.
So, I'm well exercised, well-washed, and well fed, and I'm so very tired. Tomorrow, a longer ride, and hopefully my butt will stop complaining so much. And with luck, I'll get better about writing about my adventures!
Tomorrow, I'm going to be bad. The Vita Guru and I are heading up to Evans Street Station to meet up with friends for the Oberon release party. I promise I'll ride first!! Oberon is what tells me that Spring is really here.
What's your favorite Springtime vice?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
Monday, March 26, 2012
Worst. Training. Ride. Ever.
So you know how all the trainers say that you should at least train lightly when you're not feeling well? I think they might be full of it.
The past four days, I limited my training time to A Lot Of Walking. It being the one week out of twelve that I get to spend cramped up and miserable - thanks to the miracle of Seasonique, and screw you, Rick Santorum - I figure that A Lot Of Walking is plenty of exertion when one is in pain.
I felt much better this morning, so I figured I'd get back on the bike this afternoon. But I haven't felt right since lunch time! I attributed it to maybe having too substantial a lunch - a couple of homemade chicken soft tacos - and figured I'd just wait until The Vita Guru got home from work, and drag him out with me.
Well...I tried. Even though I was still feeling a bit off, I still hopped on the bike, and off I went! And made it...down to the first roundabout on Rolland before I started feeling like the Earth was spinning around my head.
"This isn't working.", I called over my shoulder. The Vita Guru told me to head back for home, then. I did, and made it without falling off my bike, but I still feel dizzy and gross. It's not even hot outside!
The Vita Guru says it still counts as training. But far from feeling better, I actually feel worse.
Tomorrow is another day, I guess.
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
The past four days, I limited my training time to A Lot Of Walking. It being the one week out of twelve that I get to spend cramped up and miserable - thanks to the miracle of Seasonique, and screw you, Rick Santorum - I figure that A Lot Of Walking is plenty of exertion when one is in pain.
I felt much better this morning, so I figured I'd get back on the bike this afternoon. But I haven't felt right since lunch time! I attributed it to maybe having too substantial a lunch - a couple of homemade chicken soft tacos - and figured I'd just wait until The Vita Guru got home from work, and drag him out with me.
Well...I tried. Even though I was still feeling a bit off, I still hopped on the bike, and off I went! And made it...down to the first roundabout on Rolland before I started feeling like the Earth was spinning around my head.
"This isn't working.", I called over my shoulder. The Vita Guru told me to head back for home, then. I did, and made it without falling off my bike, but I still feel dizzy and gross. It's not even hot outside!
The Vita Guru says it still counts as training. But far from feeling better, I actually feel worse.
Tomorrow is another day, I guess.
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Aches and Pains
I spent the weekend out of town, having a grand time, and walking about 8.4 bajillion miles. I have to say, I have never been so grateful to sit the hell down as I was at the end of the weekend. Which is not to say that I disdain walking - it tends to be my primary mode of transport - but I did a very lot of it in quite a short time. With weather as beautiful as it was, how could I resist being out and about, I ask you?
So, while I didn't do the official training plan, I was still very active and got a lot of walking and such in, and it was good.
I took Monday off, as I needed to sleep, and that's what the plan says to do anyway, and took it easy on Tuesday - a good ride around the neighborhood, some dancing and stretching, and some more walking.
Today, my body argued. My left knee is giving me all kinds of hell, swollen and kind of tender, and I'm all cramped up and stiff. I have to wonder which of the dogs beat me up in my sleep!
I have opted to be kind to myself today and just stretch in between bouts of work. It has been...unpleasant.
With luck, the swelling will have subsided by tomorrow. I need to get a good ride in before staying out all night with a bunch of teenagers for the midnight showing of The Hunger Games.
Wish me luck!
-- Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
So, while I didn't do the official training plan, I was still very active and got a lot of walking and such in, and it was good.
I took Monday off, as I needed to sleep, and that's what the plan says to do anyway, and took it easy on Tuesday - a good ride around the neighborhood, some dancing and stretching, and some more walking.
Today, my body argued. My left knee is giving me all kinds of hell, swollen and kind of tender, and I'm all cramped up and stiff. I have to wonder which of the dogs beat me up in my sleep!
I have opted to be kind to myself today and just stretch in between bouts of work. It has been...unpleasant.
With luck, the swelling will have subsided by tomorrow. I need to get a good ride in before staying out all night with a bunch of teenagers for the midnight showing of The Hunger Games.
Wish me luck!
-- Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
I Don't Want To Be THAT Blogger
It occurs to me that I've talked rather matter-of-factly about supplements and such - not in great detail yet, but at some point I intend to. And it occurs to me that such might not go over well with my readers. So let me make something shriekingly and abundantly clear:
I am not a supplementoholic, and I am not a supplement evangelist. This is not to say that I won't occasionally talk about things that I've had success with, but I am NOT going to claim that anyone is wrong or dumb or unhealthy or whatever if they are training for an event and choose not to supplement.
The Vita Guru and I go around about this all the time. He gleefully makes himself a human guinea pig, tries every damned thing a vendor will hand to him, and gets frustrated with me because I flat out ignore the vast majority of his suggestions. Yes, he's the expert on supplements, but I'm the expert on my body and my sensibilities, and I like to keep things pretty simple. Drives him mad, it does.
That said, a number of things work really well for me. Much as I dislike the taste of AminoVital, I certainly felt better after drinking it yesterday. And there was some glutamine in there, too, which had the effect of telling my angry muscles to shut up and chill out. I awoke in much less pain today than I would have if I had skipped that.
Performance enhancers and such? Nope. Not doing it. And if you're training for a distance event of any sort and you don't want to do it either? It's all good, bb. The key to staying motivated and on track is to do what works for you!
So, if I yabble about some supplement that I have tried, please don't take it as an exhortation to go get it for yourself. My purpose with my yabbling is to document what I'm doing and how I'm progressing. I'm just dragging y'all along for the ride!
Speaking of ride, I went outside again today and toured the neighborhood. A little bit longer today than yesterday, at about the same clip. And it felt so good!
There's a lady in our neighborhood...I'm afraid we have a really mean nickname for her. We call her Granny Cheeseburger, because she's so thin and emaciated that she really could stand to eat a cheeseburger or two. I suppose we could give her a different nickname, but it turns out that she's an ill-tempered old woman with an entitlement complex, so Granny Cheeseburger it is.
Granny Cheeseburger gets out and rides her bike three or four times a day. If you are out on your bike and pass her by in the opposite direction, rather than nod and smile as the rest of the neighborhood cyclists do, she glares and sneers. If you ride up alongside of her and say hello or ask how she's doing, she glares and sneers and HAAARRRRUMPHS because you dare to speak to her.
And so it was today when I took my afternoon ride. She was riding by just as I was turning out of my driveway. Oh, hey, sez I. Isn't it great that the weather has broken?
HAAARRRRUMPH
Have a nice ride!!
HAAARRRRUMPH
What a crab! I wonder if she wakes up that foul tempered?
The rest of the two-wheeled crowd was out today, and in far better spirits! I rode along with some neighbors I haven't seen all winter, and they were very encouraging of my goal.
Fine weather is probably the cure for many ills. I certainly feel fine and cheerful today. How about y'all?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
I am not a supplementoholic, and I am not a supplement evangelist. This is not to say that I won't occasionally talk about things that I've had success with, but I am NOT going to claim that anyone is wrong or dumb or unhealthy or whatever if they are training for an event and choose not to supplement.
The Vita Guru and I go around about this all the time. He gleefully makes himself a human guinea pig, tries every damned thing a vendor will hand to him, and gets frustrated with me because I flat out ignore the vast majority of his suggestions. Yes, he's the expert on supplements, but I'm the expert on my body and my sensibilities, and I like to keep things pretty simple. Drives him mad, it does.
That said, a number of things work really well for me. Much as I dislike the taste of AminoVital, I certainly felt better after drinking it yesterday. And there was some glutamine in there, too, which had the effect of telling my angry muscles to shut up and chill out. I awoke in much less pain today than I would have if I had skipped that.
Performance enhancers and such? Nope. Not doing it. And if you're training for a distance event of any sort and you don't want to do it either? It's all good, bb. The key to staying motivated and on track is to do what works for you!
So, if I yabble about some supplement that I have tried, please don't take it as an exhortation to go get it for yourself. My purpose with my yabbling is to document what I'm doing and how I'm progressing. I'm just dragging y'all along for the ride!
Speaking of ride, I went outside again today and toured the neighborhood. A little bit longer today than yesterday, at about the same clip. And it felt so good!
There's a lady in our neighborhood...I'm afraid we have a really mean nickname for her. We call her Granny Cheeseburger, because she's so thin and emaciated that she really could stand to eat a cheeseburger or two. I suppose we could give her a different nickname, but it turns out that she's an ill-tempered old woman with an entitlement complex, so Granny Cheeseburger it is.
Granny Cheeseburger gets out and rides her bike three or four times a day. If you are out on your bike and pass her by in the opposite direction, rather than nod and smile as the rest of the neighborhood cyclists do, she glares and sneers. If you ride up alongside of her and say hello or ask how she's doing, she glares and sneers and HAAARRRRUMPHS because you dare to speak to her.
And so it was today when I took my afternoon ride. She was riding by just as I was turning out of my driveway. Oh, hey, sez I. Isn't it great that the weather has broken?
HAAARRRRUMPH
Have a nice ride!!
HAAARRRRUMPH
What a crab! I wonder if she wakes up that foul tempered?
The rest of the two-wheeled crowd was out today, and in far better spirits! I rode along with some neighbors I haven't seen all winter, and they were very encouraging of my goal.
Fine weather is probably the cure for many ills. I certainly feel fine and cheerful today. How about y'all?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
In Which I Skip The Gym...
...in favor of sunshine and fresh air!!
(Bet you thought I was going to be all slackass, huh?)
It's a bit after 7PM here in Toledo, and the sun is only just now beginning to wander down to the horizon. It's still 70 degrees, a GORGEOUS day - I want to call it Spring, but officially, it's still Late Winter. For another couple days, anyway. I'll incline my head to the calendar and the axial tilt and call it Late Winter...but it surely feels like Spring to me!
The air smelled so fresh and clean when I started gathering up my stuff for the gym...a change of clothes, the toiletry box, the pink hip scarf with silver coins and iridescent pink butterflies, the black spandex tights, the purple Camelback that The Vita Guru had considerately filled with AminoVital and who knows what else, the shaker cup with the post workout supplements he thought I should take...
I looked at my bag. I looked outside. I watched the dogs romping about.
Hey, Bubbazander? (That's my Elder Monster, 20 years old, handsome, mouthy, and an avid cyclist.)
"Yeah Moo?"
Would you please get my bike down for me?
"Riding to the gym?"
It's a little late to go to the gym --
...and Younger Monster yells "MOTHER!" (Younger Monster is 16, an aspiring engineer, pendantic as hell, and a rules lawyer. He knows what the training plan is, and will have a cow if I deviate.)
WHAT?! I'M GONNA GO RIDE MY REAL BIKE!!
That was acceptable to Younger Monster. When I had my playlist set and ready, I emerged from the house to find that Bubbazander had checked my tire pressure and brakes, and had adjusted both.
My bike is old, old, old. It's an ancient Arrow, weighs about a ton, and is still in pretty great shape. See? (Jack likes to investigate bikes. I think he thinks he can catch those better than cars.) I like the red well enough, but I think I'm going to paint it sometime before June, a shiny bright purple, as is right and proper!
I even have safety equipment! Dr. Warder thinks it's important to keep my brains all in one spot, so he got me the pretty Arella helmet that's been on my Wish List for a while. It's shiny and pretty comfy, even if I do look like I have half an Easter Egg on my head!
I rode around the neighborhood, and I learned something - our neighborhood streets SUCK! It's not so much that we have streets as we have long chains of potholes, broken up by the occasional patch of pavement. YIPES! I need to get used to it, though, because The Ride will be over lots of roads, and I'm sure most of them suck just as much. This is Northwestern Ohio, after all. The freeze and thaw cycle is hell on pavement!
Anyway, I rode a wibbly-wobbly path, making sure to go down every street, up around the school, and back through the route again. The Vita Guru and I have done this route, and it's about 6 miles. I did it at a pretty good clip, too, no pauses and no coasting. I really, really wanted to coast after hauling ass up that incline on Celesta, though. Yeesh.
I suppose that on the days I ride outside, I should start using the tracker that The Vita Guru uses, to help me stay on top of where I go, where I should go, and how far I've gone. Next time!
I also learned that I need to get a bottle clip for the bike. I didn't have my Camelback with me - nowhere to put it! - and wow, was I a bit of a mess when I rolled up the driveway. I belted back that quart of AminoVital like I hadn't had anything to drink in ever! (On the upside, sucking it down so fast meant I couldn't taste it. The stuff is great, but I don't care for the taste.)
So, the upshot of all this blithering is that I GOT TO GO OUTSIDE TODAY! And it was sunny and breezy and beautiful and even though my ass is still mighty uncomfortable, I feel exhilarated and cheerful and really, really good!
Of course, skipping the gym meant no lifting. Do you think I can count pedaling my tank of a bike, with my fluffy self atop it, as leg presses?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
(Bet you thought I was going to be all slackass, huh?)
It's a bit after 7PM here in Toledo, and the sun is only just now beginning to wander down to the horizon. It's still 70 degrees, a GORGEOUS day - I want to call it Spring, but officially, it's still Late Winter. For another couple days, anyway. I'll incline my head to the calendar and the axial tilt and call it Late Winter...but it surely feels like Spring to me!
The air smelled so fresh and clean when I started gathering up my stuff for the gym...a change of clothes, the toiletry box, the pink hip scarf with silver coins and iridescent pink butterflies, the black spandex tights, the purple Camelback that The Vita Guru had considerately filled with AminoVital and who knows what else, the shaker cup with the post workout supplements he thought I should take...
I looked at my bag. I looked outside. I watched the dogs romping about.
Hey, Bubbazander? (That's my Elder Monster, 20 years old, handsome, mouthy, and an avid cyclist.)
"Yeah Moo?"
Would you please get my bike down for me?
"Riding to the gym?"
It's a little late to go to the gym --
...and Younger Monster yells "MOTHER!" (Younger Monster is 16, an aspiring engineer, pendantic as hell, and a rules lawyer. He knows what the training plan is, and will have a cow if I deviate.)
WHAT?! I'M GONNA GO RIDE MY REAL BIKE!!
That was acceptable to Younger Monster. When I had my playlist set and ready, I emerged from the house to find that Bubbazander had checked my tire pressure and brakes, and had adjusted both.
I even have safety equipment! Dr. Warder thinks it's important to keep my brains all in one spot, so he got me the pretty Arella helmet that's been on my Wish List for a while. It's shiny and pretty comfy, even if I do look like I have half an Easter Egg on my head!
I rode around the neighborhood, and I learned something - our neighborhood streets SUCK! It's not so much that we have streets as we have long chains of potholes, broken up by the occasional patch of pavement. YIPES! I need to get used to it, though, because The Ride will be over lots of roads, and I'm sure most of them suck just as much. This is Northwestern Ohio, after all. The freeze and thaw cycle is hell on pavement!
Anyway, I rode a wibbly-wobbly path, making sure to go down every street, up around the school, and back through the route again. The Vita Guru and I have done this route, and it's about 6 miles. I did it at a pretty good clip, too, no pauses and no coasting. I really, really wanted to coast after hauling ass up that incline on Celesta, though. Yeesh.
I suppose that on the days I ride outside, I should start using the tracker that The Vita Guru uses, to help me stay on top of where I go, where I should go, and how far I've gone. Next time!
I also learned that I need to get a bottle clip for the bike. I didn't have my Camelback with me - nowhere to put it! - and wow, was I a bit of a mess when I rolled up the driveway. I belted back that quart of AminoVital like I hadn't had anything to drink in ever! (On the upside, sucking it down so fast meant I couldn't taste it. The stuff is great, but I don't care for the taste.)
So, the upshot of all this blithering is that I GOT TO GO OUTSIDE TODAY! And it was sunny and breezy and beautiful and even though my ass is still mighty uncomfortable, I feel exhilarated and cheerful and really, really good!
Of course, skipping the gym meant no lifting. Do you think I can count pedaling my tank of a bike, with my fluffy self atop it, as leg presses?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
Monday, March 12, 2012
Dancin' Queen
I've been fiddling with the time I take my medications, so I can get out of bed earlier without feeling like my head is stuffed with fluff for a few hours, and it seems to be successful, so today's gym session was this morning instead of later in the day.
I walked the mile to the gym in a light, yet warm drizzle, and didn't mind the dampness a bit. Especially not once I got the workout in motion!
Many women complain about not being able to get a decent workout because they get too much unwanted male attention at the gym. This doesn't seem to be an issue with the fellas at my gym. They don't pay much mind to the women wandering about, they're too intent on getting all their reps in. And they CERTAINLY don't pay the fat chick any mind, she's not especially interesting...unless it's the fat chick who jingles as she wanders by. I am often approached by men in the gym who want to know what all the jingling is about, and can I tell them where their wives or girlfriends can learn to bellydance?
Part of the fun of bellydance is having pretty shiny things to drape over yourself, and light, airy veils to decorate your arm work. Now, I don't use veils much at the gym, mostly because it seems a little too "Hey, look at me!", even though veils are great for general dance workout purposes. It's easier and more fun to stay motivated to get your arm carriage right when you're flinging around a couple yards of silk or organza. But I will not forgo a hip scarf. The shiny jingly things are not only pretty, they make noise and help you keep both rhythm and technique where you want them. Essentially, the jingling sounds wrong if you're not executing the moves correctly.
I jingle on by, take a place in front of the big mirrors, and commence to dancing. Today I added an extra song so I could work on abdominal isolations - mostly undulations, but also belly pops and rolls. Core strength is essential when you're intending to ride a long distance!
(To put the distance in perspective, if I were doing it all in a straight route, I'd finish about 20 miles shy of Cleveland!)
Anyway, I did the basic warmup, then started the abdominals...and noticed I had acquired an audience. A pair of very muscular guys, both about 6 feet tall, watching intently. Well, OK. I closed my eyes and kept going. I had this luscious tune to dance to, after all:
Massive Attack - Inertia Creeps (State of Bengal Mix) (YouTube)
"So...uh...bellydance, huh?" He sounded a little shy, and wouldn't make eye contact. His friend elbowed him. "You could introduce yourself, dumbass." I couldn't help it, I burst into giggles. "Hey, guys, it's OK. I know it's not usual to see someone dancing at the gym."
The first guy introduces himself. He's James. His friend is Chris. They heard me jingle on by, and got curious. Then they got surprised. Chris was pretty gregarious. "Baby, that was HOT! Where did you learn to do that? What music were you listening to?" I showed him my playlist and let him hear a little of the last song. He elbows James again, who is trying to be surreptitious about checking out my left hand.
Oh. I see.
"Ah, sweetie, thanks, it's flattering, but I'm unavailable." He jumped a bit, startled that he wasn't as sly as he thought he was. "I don't see a ring!", he grinned. But he didn't argue or fuss, he proferred his hand and said it was nice to meet me, and asked if it was OK to talk to me about dance if he saw me at the gym again, he wondered if men could do it, too. Adorbs!
From thence, the boring part of the workout. Seventy-five minutes on the bike, at a pretty steady, if somewhat moderate pace. Then chest pulls, 30 reps at 50 pounds, and butterflies, 30 reps at 50 pounds. A hot, hot shower. Twenty minutes in the sauna.
A brisk walk the mile back home, and I was done. Pleasantly tired, but not completely wiped out. And amused by the fellas who tried chatting me up.
My ass, however, is still tender. I will be so grateful when the nerve endings over my sit-bones stop firing pain messages at me! Alas, it will be some weeks before I'm able to come home from a workout without yelling "MY BUTT HURTS!" when I walk in the door.
You think maybe I can find some ass-deadening cream or something?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
I walked the mile to the gym in a light, yet warm drizzle, and didn't mind the dampness a bit. Especially not once I got the workout in motion!
Many women complain about not being able to get a decent workout because they get too much unwanted male attention at the gym. This doesn't seem to be an issue with the fellas at my gym. They don't pay much mind to the women wandering about, they're too intent on getting all their reps in. And they CERTAINLY don't pay the fat chick any mind, she's not especially interesting...unless it's the fat chick who jingles as she wanders by. I am often approached by men in the gym who want to know what all the jingling is about, and can I tell them where their wives or girlfriends can learn to bellydance?
Part of the fun of bellydance is having pretty shiny things to drape over yourself, and light, airy veils to decorate your arm work. Now, I don't use veils much at the gym, mostly because it seems a little too "Hey, look at me!", even though veils are great for general dance workout purposes. It's easier and more fun to stay motivated to get your arm carriage right when you're flinging around a couple yards of silk or organza. But I will not forgo a hip scarf. The shiny jingly things are not only pretty, they make noise and help you keep both rhythm and technique where you want them. Essentially, the jingling sounds wrong if you're not executing the moves correctly.
I jingle on by, take a place in front of the big mirrors, and commence to dancing. Today I added an extra song so I could work on abdominal isolations - mostly undulations, but also belly pops and rolls. Core strength is essential when you're intending to ride a long distance!
(To put the distance in perspective, if I were doing it all in a straight route, I'd finish about 20 miles shy of Cleveland!)
Anyway, I did the basic warmup, then started the abdominals...and noticed I had acquired an audience. A pair of very muscular guys, both about 6 feet tall, watching intently. Well, OK. I closed my eyes and kept going. I had this luscious tune to dance to, after all:
Massive Attack - Inertia Creeps (State of Bengal Mix) (YouTube)
"So...uh...bellydance, huh?" He sounded a little shy, and wouldn't make eye contact. His friend elbowed him. "You could introduce yourself, dumbass." I couldn't help it, I burst into giggles. "Hey, guys, it's OK. I know it's not usual to see someone dancing at the gym."
The first guy introduces himself. He's James. His friend is Chris. They heard me jingle on by, and got curious. Then they got surprised. Chris was pretty gregarious. "Baby, that was HOT! Where did you learn to do that? What music were you listening to?" I showed him my playlist and let him hear a little of the last song. He elbows James again, who is trying to be surreptitious about checking out my left hand.
Oh. I see.
"Ah, sweetie, thanks, it's flattering, but I'm unavailable." He jumped a bit, startled that he wasn't as sly as he thought he was. "I don't see a ring!", he grinned. But he didn't argue or fuss, he proferred his hand and said it was nice to meet me, and asked if it was OK to talk to me about dance if he saw me at the gym again, he wondered if men could do it, too. Adorbs!
From thence, the boring part of the workout. Seventy-five minutes on the bike, at a pretty steady, if somewhat moderate pace. Then chest pulls, 30 reps at 50 pounds, and butterflies, 30 reps at 50 pounds. A hot, hot shower. Twenty minutes in the sauna.
A brisk walk the mile back home, and I was done. Pleasantly tired, but not completely wiped out. And amused by the fellas who tried chatting me up.
My ass, however, is still tender. I will be so grateful when the nerve endings over my sit-bones stop firing pain messages at me! Alas, it will be some weeks before I'm able to come home from a workout without yelling "MY BUTT HURTS!" when I walk in the door.
You think maybe I can find some ass-deadening cream or something?
--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl
Thursday, March 8, 2012
A Slight Change In Schedule
The MS training plan calls for a long ride today, and either a short ride or no ride tomorrow.
Due to work load and having to restore my phone, I'm changing the schedule. Today, I get the headache of work and phone and crabbing about the damp, cold weather.
I'll probably dance for a while today to get from stiffening up. Tomorrow, I get to go back to entertaining you with Training Tales!
Due to work load and having to restore my phone, I'm changing the schedule. Today, I get the headache of work and phone and crabbing about the damp, cold weather.
I'll probably dance for a while today to get from stiffening up. Tomorrow, I get to go back to entertaining you with Training Tales!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
I Might Have Dog For Dinner
And I'm pissed at him right now, because he's a buttface!
See, Rocky has this thing about chewing. If it fits in his mouth, he chews on it. He is pretty certain that this is the way the world works, and in spite of having great toys for chewing, he still forgets that some things are not his, and he chews. And so it was with my sneakers.
Now, I didn't think the damage he did to my sneakers was too awful. Some bite marks on the sole of one, and torn fabric on the heel of the other. Meh, whatever, they're shoes and I don't care if they look raggedy. I packed up my gym bag, tied up my shoes, and off I went.
I did my bellydance warmup, which got me all stretched out and limber. The MS training plan called for two hours on the bike today, and my trainer wanted me to break that up into two sessions - ride for an hour, lift, ride for another hour. I rode for an hour, amusing myself with music and reading G+, then nabbed my trainer and headed for the weights. Since I'm looking to increase my stamina, Jay suggested we start with leg presses - 15 reps at 70 pounds.
...and that's where I found out that it wasn't just torn fabric on the back of that shoe. The heel cup is damaged, too. I learned this when I started my first press, and my foot popped right out of my shoe!
Dammit, Rocky!
I did learn that I can actually safely back 70 pounds down with only one leg! Go me!
Unsafe shoes are not allowed, so Jay sent me packing. No, don't get back on the bike, he said. Can't be on the floor with a janked up shoe. *sigh* So off I went, workout cut short.
Kinda short, anyway. It's a two mile walk from the gym to Target, where I had purchased my original sneakers. These, in fact! So I had a nice, brisk walk and found that they had one more pair in my size, clearanced out at $15! Sneakers, a new towel, and out the door I went to walk the mile back home.
I guess the workout wasn't a total wash. I did get in half an hour of warmups, an hour of riding, and a three mile walk - well, four if you count walking to the gym - but that's not doing diddly to get my actual ass conditioned for a long ride. The Vita Guru calls it "getting your saddle". I call it "getting my ass callouses", and that's the worst part of training!
I wonder if I could get ass callous implants? And Rocky still isn't safe from being eaten for dinner, the little shit.
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