In Which I Fall Off The Bike

YOU GUYS!! 18.17 miles in 1:38!!

Also, I fell off my bike this evening.

No, really. No, don't be all worried or horrified or anything like that. I'm not hurt at all! Not even wounded pride. Essentially, I had to make the choice between potentially hurting myself to stay upright, or just say "Fuck it", and lay the bike down in a ditch. I chose the ditch options.

The thing with the Wabash Cannonball Trail is that there are a TON of roads crossing it. Generally, you can just give a look each way and keep going, but there are a couple busy ones that you have to completely stop for. I'm not sure if it was Berkey Southern or Wilkins, but it was not far from finishing, in any case. Traffic was such that I had to stop. I was slightly inattentive to how close to the edge of the pavement I was, so when I set foot to pedal again, I lost control of the front tire - it turned hard into the dirt and I couldn't yank it back in time or get my foot down in time to stay upright. So I let it go, and down I went.

Scared the hell out of the Vita Guru. I think he forgets sometimes that I used to ride my bike all over Hell's Half Acre for many years before I even knew of his existence, let alone married the worry-wort. He hopped off his bike to peer at me and make sure I hadn't died, and after I made it clear I was fine, he said "You went kersplut. That's not good."

Well, true, usually, but the alternative was worse. Really, the worst part of lying upside down on an incline in the soft, wet grass, was having my 10 ton bike lying atop me. Ah well.

Wildlife seen this evening:

Beavers: 1
Woodchucks: 3
Bluebirds: 2
Cardinals: 8
Wabbits: 9
Chipmunks: OMG!
Chickens: 6
DEER!!: 1 doe, who leapt out into the middle of the trail, scaring the hell out of the kid she landed in front of, and causing me to squeal with delight.
Karner Blue Butterflies: 2 These are Federally protected, and were thought for a while to be extinct. They aren't, YAY! But they are still endangered, boo.

I'm glad the weather was cooperative today. It had rained most of the day, and I was a bit worried. But, no, it all worked out.

I'm riding in the nabe tomorrow and Wednesday. Thursday, VG and I are going out to Oak Openings to ride 36 miles. And Sunday, he says we're doing 50. Well, OK then. I guess it's sink or swim time, and I seem to be swimming just fine!

TWELVE DAYS! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I need to weed the playlist and start moving things around.


--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl

Shady Trails

There was a change of plans yesterday!

I hopped out of bed earlier than usual, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to get into trouble, so I dragged Younger Monster out of bed and offered him breakfast at Big Boy if he would go shopping with me. He rarely turns down the opportunity for pancakes, so off we went.

While at breakfast, I expressed my desire to ride somewhere other than through the neighborhood. It's fine for the 5 and 10 miles rides, but after that, it's boring as hell. I thought about Greenwood Park, but Elder Monster says those are all dirt trails. Ugh. Younger Monster suggested the neighborhood behind Greenwood Park, but there didn't seem to be any pattern to the streets. I considered bussing over to the University Parks Trail, but he thought that would be a bad idea, because it was already 82 degrees, I'd be far from home, and alone, and if I had trouble, there wouldn't be anyone there to assist right away. (Recall, I have RA, and that sometimes attacks out of nowhere.) Plus, my bike weighs almost as much as the Prius.

I mulled all of my choices over whilst shopping, and after we got home and put the groceries away, I called The Vita Guru.

Hey, you work til 5, right?

"Yah?"

Wanna go over to Oak Openings again tonight and ride? It's too hot to ride in the neighborhood, and it's boring. It will be cooler there.

"OK, have Bubba start getting things together so we can just load up and go!"

So he arrived a bit after 5, we started loading up, and I was running about looking for my jersey.

VG, did you wash my jersey? (He does most of the laundry, I cook. It's an equitable split.)

"No, I didn't. It needs to be washed separately. I have extras, though."

I couldn't fit my tits into one of yours if I held my breath and tried hard.

"*GUFFAW*"

So I wore my orange Oberon shirt. *shrug*

It was glorious at the Preserve, even though it was still 85 degrees at 6:45PM. I cranked up the tunes and took off.

Wildlife spotted:

Baby woodchucks: 2
Adult woodchucks: 5
Wabbits: 8
Suicidal chipmunks: 17 It was seriously Chipmunk O'Clock, and they are fearless.
Horses: 2
Chickens: 3
Dogses: 7

There were also quite a few more people out - runners, roller-bladers, families on bikes, cohorts of Little Old Ladies out for a stroll, and even a wheelchair athlete. The trail is mostly shaded, so it was much cooler than out in the open, and the breeze was so wonderful! We broke at 9 miles for Amino Vital, Gu energy gels (that was...weird. Didn't taste bad, but the consistency was really weird), and some leg stretching, and I realized that I was a bit chafed where the elastic of my undies was. *grrr* It made the 9 miles back a bit uncomfortable, and forced a slight drop in pace, but I seem to have survived it just fine. We had steak and pasta and wine for supper, and I slept like a stone!

Today, I'm taking a day off from riding, and doing some exercise of a different sort - we're heading up to Pentamere Winery to help bottle Peach wine! There are generally more than enough people to handle the line lately, so I usually occupy myself with labeling, or jumping behind the counter to help Nate when the tasting room is full...or I just stay out of the way and drink wine! And today, we're barbecuing after the bottling is done, so I have made my amazing BBQ Beans and a strawberry, blueberry, and banana trifle.

Tomorrow, the Vita Guru and I are going to load up his panniers and head back out to Oak Openings, and try for 35 miles. I'm confident that I'm ready for the jump, and if I handle it without feeling like crap after, the Vita Guru will be satisfied that I'll be able to handle 50 miles a day without dying.

TWO WEEKS, you guys! The ride is in TWO WEEKS! Please, please, please hit the Sponsor link in the sidebar, even if you can only spare a dollar, and please spam my link far and wide. The National MS Society is a great organization, they do a lot of good for people who are dealing with a nasty, mean disorder, and they need all the help they can get!


-- Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl

Now, With Wildlife!

Today's ride was exciting!! 18.12 miles in 1:40!!

I know, it looks like a plain old straight line on the map, and it is, but what a straight line! We started at the Springbrook Picnic Area at Oak Openings Metropark, rode a 9 mile stretch of the North Fork of the Wabash Cannonball Trail to just before Fallen Timbers Battlefield, stopped for 10 minutes to chug some Amino Vital, the turned around and rode back.

The morning started with excitement of a different sort, though. I recently bought a bike rack to put on the back of the Prius, because The Vita Guru insisted that there was no way we were getting two bikes into the back of Shuri. So we set it up, strapped the bikes in, added some bungie cords, and off we went.

We got a ways down Alexis, nearly to Regency Hospital, when suddenly there was a KATHUNK, and one of the bikes dropped from view. YIPES! We pulled into the hospital parking lot to see what happened, and discovered that the small support struts on the sides of the rack had popped loose, so the rack collapsed. Both bikes were fine, thankfully, and we learned right there that yes, Shuri can in fact accommodate two bicycles! We're going to reinforce the rack tomorrow so this isn't a problem again.

So, off we went to Oak Openings, and we hit the trail!

Wildlife spotted:

Box turtles hauling ass down the path: 1
Bluebirds: 1
Cardinals: Flocks and herds! Seriously, they were everywhere!
Toads: 1
Horses: 2
Wabbits: 3
Orioles: 3
Scarlet Tanagers: 1
Suicidal Chipmunks: At least a dozen. Instead of getting out of the way, they charge you! But they're cute as hell.
Dogses: 4
Dragonflies nearly swallowed: 1 Ugh, they taste NASTY and BITTER! Gross.

It couldn't have been a more perfect ride! Well, actually, it could have been. My battery died at mile 16, so I did the last 3 miles with no tunes! This will not be an issue for the big ride, though, because I just ordered some extended batteries for my EVO! I will not be caught without my primary means of motivation!

At the end of the ride, we guzzled some concoction The Vita Guru had thrown together and loaded the bikes into the car. The Vita Guru got the bright idea to pop his front wheel off to make it easier, and it was. But he left his wheel in the grass, and didn't realize until we were halfway home. Around we turned, back to fetch the wheel.

It was right where he left it! When he went to fetch it, though, some dude called across the parking lot "Oh, man, I was just about ten minutes from taking that!"

WTF?

What, did he want a cookie? "Hey, thanks for not being a thieving dickface!" Douchetruck.

What kind of wildlife have y'all spotted lately?


--Missy, The Fat Bottomed Girl

My Uniform!

I mentioned the other day that I got my super sharp bike jersey, right? Well, I finally took a minute to snap a couple pics!

Here's the front:

Nice and simple. Elegant, almost! I like it better than the completely pale blue one The Vita Guru had a couple years ago, but not as well as the white, black, and royal blue one he had last year. Them's the breaks, I guess.

Here's the back:

NO PRESSURE OR ANYTHING, GUYS!

I kind of like the fierce badassery of the back, though. I am Athlete, hear me RAWR!

Or, hear me bitch about my bits burning. Whichever.

The Vita Guru wants me to wait til he gets home to take my ride today, I'm aiming for twice around without feeling ouchy. And I really need to do some more work on that playlist.


-- Missy, The Fat Bottomed Girl

I Went Out With My Biker Gang!

Torrie was over today, she brought her bike, and The Pedalin' Pansies hit the road! (That's what The Vita Guru calls us!) The weather was gorgeous, if a bit windy - OK, a lot windy! - and we set out to get Torrie into the groove.

I went once around, not quite 6 miles today. I had hoped to go a bit further, but we lost Tor at the 3 mile mark. This was her first attempt at something longer than a short ride, and I can certainly sympathize with the "Oh, hell no!" that her bod gave to her. I remember a few years back, riding over to my in-laws' place, just about 4 miles away. I couldn't ride back, it was that bad.

That's OK! We're going to keep getting her out there, keep building up her stamina, and keep encouraging her to go a little further, try a little harder. She'll get there! And it's fun to have a posse out in the neighborhood with me.

Especially today. Some time after Tor and Bubba fell behind, I cruised around by the school and some dude yelled at me to stop. So I did. He demanded to know who I was and what I was doing. Er? I told him that my name was not his business, and it should be obvious what I'm doing.

"I've never seen you around here before."

Well, I ride at different times. I'm training for a distance event.

"I've lived here six months, and this is the first I've seen you!"

Oh, wow, a whole six months? I've lived in this nabe for more than SIXTEEN YEARS! So I said so. He launched into a tirade about strangers around the school, and he would call the police if he saw me "stalking around" by school again. (A school I volunteered in for 12 years, I might add.) The hell? I told him to go ahead, but to not expect anything to come of it.

My friends all tell me I have a Weirdo Attraction Field.

It becomes ever more apparent that they're correct.

Have you been stopped while getting your daily exercise on?


-- Missy, The Fat Bottomed Girl

Here I Go A Cycling

So, off I went with the Vita Guru for a spin around the neighborhood. Only once around today, I'm finding I'm having some difficulties with my hands, wrists, and elbows today.

I'm fairly certain that a good part of that is the repetitive strain injury in my right arm from work. Current work projects have no keyboard shortcuts, so it's clicky-clicky-clicky all day, and that is certainly causing problems. But part of it, too, is that I think my handlebars may be sitting too low. Bubbazander is home tomorrow all day, so I'm going to have him adjust them for me so there isn't so much pressure any more.

I'm also a little concerned about the brakes and gears. Bubba keeps working on the brakes, and they keep slipping anyway. And the gears just don't shift. So. I dunno, I'm sure that when I take the bike in for the pre-ride inspection and tune-up, the fella at The Bike Route will get it all sorted out. Still, it's a little worrisome.

I can't believe the ride is in just FIVE WEEKS! OMG! It's getting close! And to underscore that, my "rider packet" arrived from the Vitamin Shoppe today. They sent me a gorgeous white and gold jersey, a fancy pants shaker cup, and a whey protein packet that is probably going to taste terrible, but I'm going to try it anyway. I'll take pics of the jersey later, suffice to say, it's a pretty cool uniform.

Five weeks. Of course, I'm still looking for sponsors, so if you've got a couple bucks to throw at a terrific organization, hit the sponsor link in the right sidebar. Every little bit helps, and the people who are helped by the MS Society would be so very appreciative!

I could eat a moose, but I think I'm going to content myself with some angel hair and shrimp tonight. What's for dinner at your house tonight?

--Missy, The Fat Bottomed Girl

Pouring One Out For MCA

I learned to my shock and dismay that Adam Yauch, better known as MCA, co-founder of the Beastie Boys, lost his battle with cancer this morning.  He was only 47 years old, just 5 years older than I am.  This really hurts my heart.

What does this have to do with me riding?  Well, the Beasties figure pretty heavily into my playlist.  What better way to get motivated than to have the Beasties hollering at you to fight for your right to party?

Thanks for the fun music, MCA.  Wherever you've gone, I hope the parties are bitchin'.

That...didn't work out as well as I had hoped

Memo to Self:

Don't wear 100% cotton underwear when you're going to try distance riding in 90 degree heat.  Dumbass.

Seriously, especially you folks with girl-bits:  you really want nice synthetic undies when you're riding, or you are going to chafe like a mofo in a place you definitely DON'T want to chafe.  This is doubly true when you're sporting a lot of junk in your trunk.

Gold Bond Medicated Powder is my BFF right now.  Gods.

Anyway, it was not quite 90, closer to 88, when we decided to go out.  I had taken a nap, and woke up to find  The Vita Guru in a bit of a panic.  He had been doing laundry - YES, my husband does the laundry! - and watching bad TV, when the main breaker flipped, and refused to come back on.  It did this several times last summer, it only happens when the AC is running and we have other stuff on.  Well, washer, dryer, ceiling fans, big TV, dehumidifier...and the breaker got too hot and yelled "Bugger all this for a lark!" and shut itself off.

We didn't have anything else to do while we waited for it to cool down, so off we went.

This was the route today, which is seriously candy-assed (heh):



Lame. 4.51 miles, when I was hoping to go at least 10 today. But when you can feel the tender skin rubbing right off your nethers...well, fuck that. I called it off, and we headed for home.

Let me tell you something besides Gold Bond I'm terribly grateful for: Foam on the Range soaps. Not just because Amy is my dear friend, but because when you wash up with her soap, IT DOESN'T STING THE CHAFED BITS. And in fact, it was soothing and I was so grateful that having a shower didn't make me cry.

In the meantime, the electricity is back up, lots of things have been turned off, the AC is back on and working like a champ to get the temperature inside the house back down to something reasonable, Rocky is crashed out and snoring, and I'm just about to do the same.

Bubbazander promised to go out for a ride with me after he gets home from work tomorrow, before I leave to go meet up with The Vita Guru to see The Avengers (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!  Sorry, I have a mad thing for Robert Downey, Jr. AND for comic books.).  AND!  And, and, and!  Torrie said she'd come ride with me after finals are over, so I can start pestering her on Monday!  I will have a posse, y'all!  Oooh, no, a biker gang!

What shall we call ourselves?

--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl

Found A New Tool!

It turns out the Google Maps has a nifty map creation feature that looked like it would let me plot out yesterday's ride and figure out just how far I went.  It also turns out that the damned thing is so fiddly, I determined I had neither patience nor alcohol enough to mess with it - after an HOUR!  AN HOUR!.  So I went looking for a new tool that wouldn't make me wish I was an alcoholic.


Found one!  It's called Map My Ride, and it will both track while you're riding (though not as nicely as with SportyPal) and let you map a route out by hand.  Took a whole five minutes and zero alcohol.

Wait...I think I got robbed there...

Anyway, here's yesterday's ride:

...and if you're super nosy, you can see a full sized map here.  I'd apologize for the sloppiness of the drawing, but I think I did pretty decently for a crotchety, foul-tempered arthritic, so I'm going to skip that. ;)

SO!  8.8 miles!  Not bad, if I do say so myself.  And I do!  And I don't feel like I want to die, and I feel like if I lie down for an hour this afternoon and go out once the temperature is more reasonable than the current 88 degrees, I might even manage three full laps around the neighborhood.  I'm dragging The Vita Guru out with me, since he's been off all day, and we'll see where this training ride takes me!

If I make it home in one piece, I shall celebrate with a hot shower, raspberry walnut glazed pork, sweet potato chips, and half a bottle of Pentamere's new release, May Wine!

Dear Ma Nature,

Please drop the temperature about 15 degrees, so I can ride without dying, and sooner rather than later.  I really want that May Wine!

--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl

Return of The Fat Bottomed Girl

I know, I know, I've been really quiet.  A lot has been going on lately, and some things required that I just be gentle with myself for a while.  I've been riding since last I wrote, and walking a lot, too.  But I did take a full week off.

On Saturday, April 21st, my much beloved Pit Bull-Labrador mix, Whiskey Jack, was taken suddenly from me by a previously undiagnosed liver tumor at the age of ten.  We had adopted Jack from the Toledo Area Humane Society in 2005, and we loved him with everything that we had.  He was a wonderful companion, a loyal friend, and my heart is shattered for the loss of him.  I still wait every morning for him to come to me to share some toast, and every afternoon for him to remind me in his inimitable way that it's time for a nap...and every day, my heart breaks all over again.

It's really hard to give a damn about riding your bike when you're grieving for the loss of a dear friend.  Can't see much when you're crying, either.  So, I didn't ride last week.  Did some walking with Rocky - whose presence has been a balm to my broken heart - and did some walking on my own, but I admit I neglected my bike, and I am unapologetic about that.  Sometimes, you just need to be nice to yourself, and damn the workout.

Today, I hopped back on, and Bubbazander and I did the neighborhood route for 1 3/4 laps, which The Vita Guru estimates is about 8.5 or 9 miles.  We only came home when we did because it was getting too dark to see - our neighborhood has no streetlights!  Ridiculous if you want to go out and ride around in the evening!

It was a very good ride, with very few issues!  Bubbazander and I had great conversation throughout, and he was very motivational.  He noted that I'm having fewer difficulties with talking while riding, which means that my lung capacity and stamina are increasing, YAY!

My ass?  Still sore.  But it's no longer that burning, stinging, so awful I can't bear to move sore.  Rather, it's a sort of vague ache, which is much more tolerable than wanting to fill the bathtub up with ice and park myself in it!

The only major setback, aside from dusk falling, is that I was inattentive at the start of the ride and did not make sure that SportyPal had started.  So my ride did not get tracked.  ARRRGH!  I have no idea how long it took, or how my pacing was, and I can only guess at the actual distance.  I wonder if I can map it out by hand?  I guess I'll be fiddling with the site a bit after supper, won't I?

Anyway, I'm back.  I'm a little broken and sad still, but I'm carrying on and getting better and I'm determined to be ready for this thing.  I've got two months left, and I need to make them count, right?

I think Jack would be pleased with my progress.

--Missy, the Fat Bottomed Girl